Marriage: Blood, Sweat, Tears, and a Smile

As much as we talk about parenting skills on Exercising Values, it is important to remember that the well-being of the parents both individually and as a couple has an impact on the children that supersedes any parenting technique. It is an aspect of parenting that continues throughout life and will linger after you are gone. Your children will call on the memory of you at age 30, 40, 50, 60, and beyond when they reach those ages themselves and it will be your example that will call out to them with direction or warning.

I’ve been married to a guy I met in high school and we have had blood, sweat, and tears in our time together. We are not now and never have been a storybook married couple but we have weathered every storm and threat to our union, even those of our own creation.

Today we are traveling to Montana so I can train in elevation for an upcoming race in Switzerland. Earlier today, I was remembering how much I loved road trips together when we were young because I had endless time to talk to him and really where could he go to escape? He was a captive audience. I was wondering what in the world I found to talk about as we could now finish each others sentences.

Then he surprised me. Just like in the movies he broke out into song and yes it was a song by Blood, Sweat, and Tears. He serenaded me with “You Make Me So Very Happy”.  Sure it was as corny as it sounds but I was not just smiling on the outside, I was smiling deep in my heart. Those rough times linger: the times of blood, sweat, and especially the times of tears. But a silly gesture opened my heart and so this may be the best trip I’ve had in a while.

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there with a gesture of love of your own. In a marriage, it is so easy to tear down, to neglect and be neglected, and to get discouraged. There will be times characterized by blood, by sweat, and certainly by tears. It’s up to you to add smiles to the list. Love your children by loving yourself and by loving each other.